Head versus heart, a fierce battle.

Ever done a personality test? As part of a training day I just did one, and have previously taken the Briggs-Meyer test. The results are never written in stone, but they do highlight the fact that people are not the same in their personalities and this can be useful in understanding conflict, both within oneself and interpersonal.

My own results have changed over the years. The scores on the thinking, reasoning component of my personality are very close to the scores for the emotional, creative sphere. I can be very nurturing and creative, but increasingly I have learned to be more rational and practical. I like to think of it as being that my head is well balanced with my heart. This is all very well when my head and heart are of one accord with an issue. But what if my head and heart are in conflict?

We read in Genesis that God created the world and mankind, and everything was well and good and full of life. I imagine it was an extremely well balanced world. But then Adam and Eve were tempted by Satan and sinned and there were awful consequences: loss of relationship with God, banishment, the curse of sin upon all their descendents, hard work, sorrow, death.  Romans chapter 8 tells us that all creation groans and suffers decay from that point.

The good news is, of course, found in John 3:16 – For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever would believe in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. We who have given our lives to Jesus have the assurance of our eternal salvation and life with Him, through His death and resurrection. It is the Holy Spirit in us which enables us to resist evil.

Yet we still live in a fallen world. Make no mistake, Satan is ever at work to tempt us into sin. He is the source of confusion and conflict, the Father of lies. Whilst we live in our human bodies we will always be subject to temptation.

God made us as humans with intelligence, rational thought, and emotions, all of which are good and make us human. Since the fall we must deal with the spoiling of God’s perfect creation of these things. Humans now experience fears, mental illness, emotional instability, a lack of balance in self confidence, to name a few problems. The very God- given uniqueness of every human being can be a problem. Whilst we may cherish our individuality, we may also lack insight and empathy as to why people react or behave differently to ourselves.

I’ve learned that two people can look at a situation and see totally different things. Some people see the forest, others the trees. Some people see a physical environment as important, others personal relationships. Some people value financial resources, others time. Some people want the emphasis in their church to be worship or counselling or missions.  For some the most important quality to look for in a marriage partner is similar ministry goals, for another it may be similar family expectations. There are no rights or wrongs in many of these things, just differing points of view.

At different times in our lives we all face temptations when our hearts and heads are in conflict and may battle for a while, sometimes a long while, before the issue is resolved. It may be clearly sin as far as God’s word is concerned, for example, an extra-marital affair. Or it may be less clear – for example you may love your job but have your efforts sabotaged by a jealous colleague; you might love the social life in your church but be drawn to a ministry program in another. You may be the spouse of someone who has revealed an affair. I can think of no clearer case where the rational mind can be overcome with powerful emotions and, in some cases, a marriage and family that could be restored is abandoned.

Where we have these conflict situations much prayer, thinking through and the counsel of godly friends and professionals is important, rather than making hasty emotional decisions. Again, there is often no right or wrong decision, just a gradual move into the direction where the mind and heart are more in accord. Sometimes when the mind decides, the heart follows. I might love my old church, or former boyfriend/girlfriend, or job, but that doesn’t mean I might not love a new, albeit different one.

And when head and heart are both of one accord, look out! The possibilities exist for something amazing to happen.

 Thank goodness we have God! The end of this devotion and the most important part of it all is to emphasize that He is the author of peace and resolution and comfort through the presence in our lives of his indwelling Holy Spirit. God epitomises grace and forgiveness like no other. He imparts his wisdom into all our decisions. I love the Greek name for the Holy Spirit, the Parakletos, meaning “One who comes alongside.” He is with us as counsellor and confidante when we seek Him through prayer and meditation and Christian consultation. As He has said in His word “I will never leave you or forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5). Praise God!