Influence and friends

Friends and influence. Two things that most people would like to finish their lives saying that they had. As a young teenager, Dale Carnegie had neither. Yet at the end of his life he left a legacy of success that continues to benefit many throughout the world today. He decided that he wasn't content to be shy and socially inept. He learned all that he could about interpersonal relationships, put what he discovered into practice, and taught others some steps that they could take to overcome shyness, build life affirming friendships and work well with others.
As a young teenager myself, I purchased a 1938 edition of Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" in a second hand shop. I still have it in my bookcase. It's been one of the most significant books that I've read and I still refer to it for basic strategies that help me in my work and social relationships.
Here are a few of Dale's ideas:

Be genuinely interested in others.
Smile.
Use their name.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
Make the person feel important and do it sincerely.
Show respect for the opinions of others.
Try to see things from the other person's point of view.
Be sympathetic.
Call attention to mistakes indirectly.
Ask questions instead of giving orders.
Give praise and honest appreciation.
If you are wrong, admit it. 

There are many more suggestions in the book, which is still in print and I would encourage you to purchase a copy.

To me, the ideas contained in this book are quite in cohesion with Biblical principles. Too often the world we live in gives us the false notion that we should concentrate on ourselves and our own success. The Bible encourages us to be empathic, to consider our neighbour as much as ourselves, to be honest and to consider carefully what we say. The book of Proverbs has many adages regarding personal relationships, whilst James reminds us that the tongue is a powerful instrument for either encouraging or wounding others. The Bible also teaches us to develop an "attitude of gratitude"- to be thankful to God for who He is and for all He has done for us through Jesus Christ.

As Christians, we want to influence the world for Jesus. Maybe some of Dale Carnegie's strategies will assist some to make friends and be that influence in their lives.


"How to Win Friends and Influence People" Dale Carnegie Pocket books, 2010 (paperback) Vermilion 2012 (hardcover) also available CD and download. 

Some of my best friends have fur and four legs- Felix, Astro, Paris and Seb.

 

 

Had the time of my life

I haven’t posted anything for a while because I’ve been studying. For my work in community health, I’ve recently been involved in some studies in the area of palliative care. It’s interesting to note that when one observes the various models and practices of palliative care, a holistic approach is usually adopted, embracing not only the physical needs of a client, but also their psychological, social and spiritual needs.

It seems that palliative care is one area of health care where it’s acceptable to discuss spiritual values, where we acknowledge the spiritual component of a person and the strength and comfort and positive effects on overall health that spiritual values impart.

I am pleased that spiritual needs are considered in a palliative approach to health care, but realize that for some people, it takes a confrontation with their own mortality before they really think about what they believe and where they are going. Because Christianity isn’t a life insurance policy that you cash in at death, as many people seem to view it.

Jesus said “I have come that they might have life and have it to the full.” (John 10:10).

Abundant life in Christ begins at conversion- repentance and faith in Jesus. It’s the fullest, most rewarding relationship you will ever experience. Some people have the idea that they should enjoy what this world has to offer as long as they can, and that conversion will result in constraint of the things that make them happy. What they fail to realize is that this world offers temporary and fleeting happiness that fails to satisfy the longings of the human soul for relationship with the One in whose image we are crafted. Every hour, month and year that we delay finding that relationship is time that we have denied ourselves living the fullest life we possibly could.

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” (Philippians 1:6)

We who are committed to God know the joy of His presence every day. We’re not promised an easy passage through life as a Christian but we know the guidance of His Holy Spirit which indwells us as Christians in every aspect of our lives. We know His protection and guidance. We grow in knowledge and relationship with God through prayer, Bible study and fellowship with other Christians in a caring Christian community. And He empowers us to impact others in this world for the good that only He can bring.

“He too shared in their humanity so that by His death He might destroy him who holds the power of death- that is, the devil- and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.” (Hebrews 2:14,15)

The above words relate not just to physical death, but also the fear of evil and all that it brings. We must remember that Christ has the ultimate victory over sin and death and that He promised “"I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die” (John 11:25).

The Bible promises us that as Christians God is with us, for us and will never forsake us. I’ve seen the peace and comfort that Christ can give as people approach the end of their lives. I’ve also seen and known the joy that a Christian life can provide throughout life.

“The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9).

If you don’t know Jesus as your personal Saviour, I invite you to further investigate what it means to be a Christian by talking to a Pastor at your local church, checking out some Christian websites on the net and reading the Bible. The Bible book of Mark gives a succinct account of Jesus’ life, death and resurrection. Many churches offer short introductory courses such as Christianity Explained or Alpha, which help those who are seeking God or have questions about the Christian faith to learn more about who He is and how we can be in relationship with Him.

Don’t wait until your deathbed to discover that you missed out on the greatest life of your earthly life.

At long last, a beautiful daughter!

Letting Go

Little children

Precious gifts from our Father in heaven

Conceived in love

and born into their parent’s waiting arms

We brought you home

and sheltered you from harm

we watched you grow

delighting in your life

and loving you so

a skipping girl with long blond hair

in braids, becomes

a bride so fair

A boy with trains and cars

becomes a man

and now, husband and wife

with dreams and plans

with happiness to share.

we watched you growing every day

and came to know

that you would leave and go away

as it should be

and learned, as all wise parents do

to let you go and live apart

is still to have you stay

for you will always, each and every day

be with us  in our  prayers and hearts

© Jo Collett 17/12/11

Out of the ashes

Photo taken at Mt Mee National Park

If you look closely at this photo you will see blackened pieces of branch and a residue of ash at the base of the tree. There had been a controlled burn-off in the area.  The tree's upper limbs and branches were completely denuded of foliage and bare, apparently dead. Yet as we can see, already there is new life sprouting- the reddish-green leaves you can see in the photo are actually shoots of the same tree sprouting from the underground base and root system. The flourishing little shoots are heading into the sunshine.
Australia is a hot, dry country and we live with fire hazards. Many of our native plants are created with mechanisms which utilise fire for growth. Some require the heat of a fire to open their seed capsules. The nutrients from ash enrich the soil and provide the right conditions for new life.
Whenever I see a tree stump sprouting, or buds emerging on a dormant, wintered branch or as in this case, new life proceeding out of trial, it never ceases to thrill me, as a powerful symbol of renewal. For God has promised us in His word that He does restore and renew what is so often broken and damaged and seemingly lost. Not only that, but in a life committed to Him, nothing that we have suffered or experienced is of no consequence but instead is used to grow us and the lives that we are in contact with.
God can take a hopeless life and give back hope. He can mend a relationship that seems irresolvable. And He can take a life of sin or hurt or disappointment and turn it into a life of love and purpose. All we have to do is ask Him.

Isaiah 61: 1-3

" The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners
 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
    and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
    and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor."


Joel 2:23-25

Be glad, people of Zion,
    rejoice in the Lord your God,
for he has given you the autumn rains
    because he is faithful.
He sends you abundant showers,
    both autumn and spring rains, as before.
 The threshing floors will be filled with grain;
    the vats will overflow with new wine and oil.

 “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
    the great locust and the young locust,
    the other locusts and the locust swarm


2 Corinthians 1:3-4

" Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God."

Humanity Broke the Heart of God

Whipped and beaten

bloody and broken

half dead, they tied You

to those timbers

pierced Your limbs

and lifted You into

the searing noonday heat

Saviour,

King,

Lord of all

humbled and scorned

So we come to the cross

Each one

Mocking You

Deserting You

Denying You

or choosing

To stay

Watching and waiting

Suffering and hoping

Loving and believing

Following You to the cross Lord

we know it is finished

the curtain is torn

and the earth trembles

We wait in thankfulness

speaking, as You taught us

to God be forever the power and the glory.

©Jo Collett 18/04/2014  Good Friday

The most important reason that Jesus died on the cross

"Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify You." John 17:1

Jesus prayed these words in the upper room with His disciples. They were the opening words of His prayer with them before He went out to be arrested, tried and crucified. They epitomise His love and obedience to His Father, love and obedience which led Him to the cross.

When we think of all that was accomplished on the cross, and there are many facets to the purpose of the cross, we often think of it in terms of what Christ did for us.

Yet in Christ's prayer, His first desire is that He should glorify His Father.

The Trinity speaks to us of that most perfect relationship of love and unity, that of our Father God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, a triune relationship existing before creation came into being and which will last for time eternal.

Christ honoured His Father and did His Father's will, glorifying Him. In doing so He also glorified Himself.

Christ's was the truest, most noble sacrifice ever made because it was the most unjust. He who was perfect love and without sin bore the penalty of sin.

Of course Christ's sacrifice was for us too. He demonstrated God's love for us, that He died for our salvation, to bring us back to a place of reconciliation with God.

On the cross, Christ set the example for our lives. We have an amazing gift, bought with a price.

In Christ, we die to our selves. We live for Him. In everything we do, all that we are, we seek to honour and bring glory to our Father and our Lord.

Dear Heavenly Father God,
I come to You with a thankful and full heart, acknowledging all You have done through Your Son Jesus Christ. Thank You Lord Jesus that in all things You honoured and obeyed your Father. Thank You for the love that was poured out on the cross. 
Father, help us to be more and more like Jesus, aware of Your will and obedient to You, serving You in this earthly life in love, and helping those who do not yet know You to come into relationship with Christ. May our lives bring forth fruit for Your kingdom and bring glory to your name Father, we pray,
In the precious name of Jesus Christ. Amen 

Sacrifice

Corrie Ten Boom, in her book "The Hiding Place" tells the story of her life in Haarlem, the Netherlands and her incarceration in Ravensbruck concentration camp during World War II. One of the experiences she chronicles is a relationship with a young man which she expected would lead to marriage. However, the man chose to marry another. From her account in the book it seems that Corrie knew, following the end of this relationship, that she would remain single throughout her life.

If Corrie had married and had a family if she would have no doubt experienced a very different life to the one she lived as an evangelist and prolific writer. Her testimony of faith in extremely difficult circumstances has touched many hearts and lives worldwide.

We live in a world which encourages people to "have it all." We are set almost impossibly unrealistic standards of achievement in a multitude of areas- career, health and fitness, family life, social connections, travel and displaying a showcase home with all its accoutrements.In the western world many people are stressed and depressed, unable to cope with all the conflicting demands made upon them.

Some churches, too, sadly, have bought into the gospel of having it all. Some sermons sound more like a psychology lesson than a call to repentence and holiness.

Because the truth is, you can't have it all. If you think you know anyone who does, you are probably mistaken. We all have to prioritise where we are going to place our time, money and effort. The choices we make regarding these things will determine the destiny of our own lives and those of others around us.

One thing I am absolutely sure of is that God honours the sacrifices that are made for His sake. Have a look at Jackie Pullinger's Youtube clip entitled "Go"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIc631LALz8

People like Jackie epitomise what the gospel message is all about- losing your life to find it elsewhere. Yet wherever we are, the message is the same. There is a cost of being a Christian if you think of Christianity in the world's terms. Far beyond giving up certain foods for the period of Lent, Christians may have to give much more.

The world says " Get rich, amass as much for yourself as you can " - Jesus says share with those in need and with the body of Christ.
The world says invest your time in yourself and your personal goals. Jesus says invest your time in kingdom goals.
The world says seek social standing and status. Jesus says serve others with humility.
The world says its okay to chop and change relationships if they don't work out. Jesus says marriage is for better or worse, for life.
For Jesus' sake we may have to turn our backs on riches, prestige and relationships that are not in accordance with His will.

Jesus lived a short life on earth and died a horrible and painful death for our sakes. He never experienced an earthly marriage or children or home ownership. He was rejected and alienated and misunderstood and mocked and scorned. His was the supreme sacrifice- the only sinless person, tried and convicted and wrongfully killed, to honour and obey His Father and make a way for sinful humanity to be able to be in right relationship with God again, through His atoning blood.

Yet God does not see His children forsaken and provides so much over and above what we need. Far more importantly, our relationship with Him is richness beyond measure, beyond any earthly success or acquisition or relationship.