Sorry

Sorry
Is all that you can't say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like sorry like sorry

“Baby can I hold you” lyrics Tracey Chapman

“It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word” 

“Sorry seems to be the hardest word” lyrics Bernie Taupin

Sorry. It can be a hard word, but it shouldn’t be an impossible one. Many of us know somebody in our circle of family or other contacts who just seems to be incapable of saying sorry. And we should feel very sorry for those people.

Saying sorry is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength. It’s a sign that that person has enough morality to distinguish between right and wrong. They have enough empathy to realise that their words or actions were hurtful. They take responsibility for their behaviour. They have enough courage to approach another person to make amends, even if by doing so they leave themselves open to rebuke.

God requires us to be apologetic. Matthew 5:23-24 states “"Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.”

Conversely, to never say sorry is to imprison oneself in a cage of pride. To blame others and make constantly make excuses for ourselves leads to a gradual build-up of insensitivity, a lack of humility and a numbness to our own feelings.

Saying sorry may not fix the problem. Forgiveness is the prerogative of the person whom you have hurt or offended, however, it does indicate that you have done what you can to heal the breach. In many cases the person who was wronged in only too willing and able to move beyond the pain and into a healthier relationship when they hear those two small words.

Even if you do not feel directly at fault, in some circumstances it may help to offer an expression of sorrow: “I’m sorry that we had that falling out.” “I’m sorry we haven’t been able to see eye to eye for a long time.” In this case you are expressing a general regret that things have not been well between yourself and another. In the same way we express a more general sorrow when we empathise with another’s loss “I heard that your father passed away. I’m so sorry.”

I recently met a lady who had moved away from a church because of conflict and hurt. One of the first things I said to her was “I’m so sorry that happened to you in a church.” As Christians we are aware of conflicts and hurts that occur in churches, some of us have experienced it first-hand, and we know how the enemy loves to cause division and strife. We bear one another’s burdens. It makes a difference for someone to step in and say “I’m sorry that happened. It shouldn’t have.” To anyone hurt in a church I commend to you a short Youtube clip: The Truth about Church Hurt http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zfhd6NYlUwk

Sometimes ministry leaders need to be responsible for the conflicts that have occurred on their patch. Sometimes a church may need to look at what has happened in past generations in that church which may still have a spiritual overtone that is affecting a congregation in the present. Unresolved hurts can create spiritual strongholds that bind communities.

One of the greatest days in the history of Australia happened on February 13^th 2008. On that day the parliament of Australia and the Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, delivered a formal apology to the indigenous peoples of this land for the many acts of mistreatment and racial discrimination they had suffered since the time of European settlement of this nation. Many Australians, both indigenous and non-indigenous, saw this step as a necessary acknowledgement of injustice, and a sign that we sought healing and reconciliation. I believe that this action would have been very pleasing to God and has blessed our nation in the spiritual realm.

 Father God, thank You for the opportunity to come to You in prayer. Thank You that You are holy and just and merciful and forgiving. I pray for anyone reading here who finds it difficult to say “sorry” and I pray for those who have waited to hear those words that sometimes don’t come.  Lord I am sorry for the times that I grieve You and fail You, yet I know that You continue to love and extend grace and trust. Help us daily Father to walk more closely with You, to know Your ways and follow them and to show Your grace and love to a world that needs You, for Your glory and the extension of Your kingdom. We pray these things in the precious name of Jesus Christ. Amen