Courageous

I recently viewed the movie “Courageous” and felt rather ambivalent about it. It’s good that Christian filmmakers are producing work which embodies Christian principles. It is certainly a movie that provides a jumping-off point for discussion and study about what it means to be a Christian man.

This movie did demonstrate that Christian men come in all shapes and sizes and occupations, and can be heroic, athletic, funny, thoughtful, noble, determined and even wrong and sinful. They aren’t perfect, just ordinary guys whose lives are transformed by a relationship with Jesus Christ. It also showed that even Christian lives are not immune to tragedy but that God’s comfort and presence is there in the midst of grief.

One element I didn’t like was the storyline about the worker whose bosses put him to the test, lying to him about wanting him to do something underhand to test his honesty. In real life that’s called entrapment – the Christian worker passed with flying colours, but if I was him I’d be looking for a more professional outfit to work for.

Culturally, there are lots of ways to practice Christianity too. For some, expressing their faith/manhood by publicly engaging in a ceremony with a minister and making pledges, backed up with a plaque hammered into the living room wall may be the way to go. For others this might not be needed. I would suggest that in both cases, faith/manhood requires an ongoing process of reflection and expression.

Most disconcerting of all for me was the scene of a father taking his daughter to the restaurant and giving her a ring to wear, until such time as a fiancée replaced it. Not everyone supports this idea, even within church circles. By giving this ring, did the father also give the girl the impression that her identity is forever defined by a father or husband? What of those who are called to a single life?  If the ring giving was done in the context of a loving relationship, underpinned by years of good parenting, backed up with lots of conversation and a compliant daughter, it might possibly work as a symbol. If you had an overly- controlling father, whose word was law and who was determined to dictate his daughter’s life, friends and husband, coupled with a lack of trust development and a rebellious teenager – I don’t think a ring is going to help. And where was the mother in all this? I have known of teenagers, male and female, being given commitment rings, but in my experience it is both parents who have done so, in the context of talking about celibacy.

Despite some of these concerns, I was glad that my sons (and husband) had the opportunity to watch “Courageous” for there were many positive attributes displayed by the men portrayed. I particularly admired the young man who faced up to his responsibilities regarding the child he had fathered. As well as responsibility, the movie demonstrated the need for mateship, honesty, hard work and yes, physical and mental courage in dangerous situations.There was a car chase and shoot-out worked into the plotline of course, because this was a movie designed to appeal to men.

I’d like to add a few of my own ideas about what I, as a woman, think it means for a man (or a woman) to have courage:

It takes courage to not go along with the crowd when they laugh and talk about things which are inappropriate to Christian values.

It takes courage to walk into a pub with your workmates because you want to get alongside them socially to witness to them, to always drink lemonade and to openly talk about Christianity. (My husband)

It takes courage to sell everything, pack up your family and move across the world to give your children a better life, especially when you are in your early fifties and don’t have relatives, a job or a home to go to. ( My Dad and Mother.)

It takes courage to face every day with a severe disability in a world which often doesn’t understand or care and in which life is just constantly more difficult than it should be. (My autistic son and every other person with a disability)

It takes courage to stand up for others who are unable to do so themselves; to be a Christian in a secular school and to live a different lifestyle to the other young adults who are not Christians in your extended family. (My younger son)

It takes courage to care for a severely intellectually-disabled daughter for over forty years and then care for her mother too as dementia afflicted her, whilst at the same time dealing with your own cancer diagnosis, and still face life with a smile. (A friend, one of the most courageous men I know)

It takes courage to face the world with an “I’m alright” when you are grieving inside for the loss of a loved one.

It takes courage to endure a serious illness or chronic pain.

It takes courage to be a Christian in countries where your faith may lead to discrimination, imprisonment or murder.

It takes courage to cross the world to minister the gospel, especially in dangerous places.

It takes courage to cross a room to minister the gospel.

It takes courage to face an enemy of Christ, who is opposing you and all you stand for, to be forgiving and loving to that person.

It takes courage to face a Christian brother or sister when you are concerned that by their actions or words they demonstrate that they are veering onto a path that will take them away from God. It takes even more courage if that person is a friend.

It takes courage to question the practices in your church when everybody else seems to be happy with the status quo.

It takes courage to turn off the computer when you are tempted to click onto the provocative story or website link that appears when you are browsing.

It takes courage to walk away from that person who knows that your marriage is under stress or in trouble and who offers such an attractive way out of it all.

It takes courage to drive at the speed limit when all your friends in the car are urging you to put your foot down.

It takes courage to walk away from a fight when you want to punch the other person's lights out and they are egging you on to do so. 

It takes courage to get up day after day, year after year, to go to work in a job that is by the world’s standards low status, and to not complain because it is providing for your family. (My father again)

It takes courage to admit you are wrong and to ask for forgiveness.

For me personally, it will take much courage, as someone who is afraid of heights, to accompany my husband on a helicopter flight. For him, it is getting up on a dance floor to dance with me.

I’m sure there are many, many other ways that people are courageous.

Courage, according to my trusty Oxford dictionary, is bravery or boldness. We can discourage someone, deprive them of courage, confidence or energy. Alternatively we can encourage –urge, advise, stimulate, help, promote or assist.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6